I'm a domestic violence survivor ... But my abusive ex-husband has an almost $31,000 monetary judgment against me, as part of a fraudulent divorce judgment, which gives him the legal right to find me and collect that money from me. I don't believe that is what he wants to do. He wants to find me so he can kill me. I'm currently battling against that in appellate court. But, I'm all alone in this battle. You see, I can't afford to retain an attorney. And the case is in the state of Florida where there are no attorneys willing to help pro bono. So, as I write, I have a target on my head. If he finds me, he will kill me. I am certain of it. But there's nothing I can do to stop this ... unless the appellate court overturns the judgment. Appellate courts are slow to act. It will be close to a year from now before they render an opinion.
So, how did this happen?
Well, you see, my pleadings were stricken in divorce court. Pleadings are anything that you file with the court. They're the documents of your case, if you will. If they're stricken, it's as if you never filed anything. That's the position I found myself in because of the judge's ruling. The judge prohibited me from participating in my own divorce. This gave my ex-husband a position of power.
Why were they stricken, those pleadings?
They were stricken primarily because I refused to give my husband my new home address and work address in another state. There were other reasons, and I'll go into them. But they were the main reasons. I had moved away after my husband stole the family business and shut off water in the marital home, making it impossible for me to live there any longer. A year later, the divorce was still ongoing. As part of discovery (a process where you provide each other with information and documentation), the divorce court judge ordered me to give my home address to my husband's attorney, and my work address to my husband. I don't drive. He could have followed me home from work. He could also have requested a copy of his file from his attorney. So, I did not comply. I needed to preserve my safety, above anything else I was aware that by refusing, I may lose my right to the marital assets (the house, the vehicles, even the business -- all of which I bought from money I earned before we were married.) I was prepared for that. I was ready to walk away, let him have it all. All I wanted was the right to live my life.
That wasn't what happened?
What I was not prepared for was that my husband would present fraudulent information during a default hearing, omit the business entirely, and be awarded a judgment against me that still gives him a way to find me.
Some people find my story difficult to believe. But similar stories are happening all over the US to domestic violence victims. What I seek to discuss here is what happened, how it happened, the mistakes I made, what I've learned, and the lack of assistance available to domestic violence victims, particularly in Florida.
My goals are also a little selfish in one way. If he finds me and kills me, I want there to be a record of what happened to me in my own words. It may be the only way my voice will be heard from beyond the grave.
And maybe, just maybe, my story will help someone else.
For a little background on the abuse:
Before I realized it was abuse ... this was a typical conversation with my husband.
A rough diary -- I kept this diary of abusive events from the last 5 months of my marriage.
